Love and relationships are the foundation of our emotional and spiritual well-being. In many cultures, love is seen as a form of spirituality—an energy that flows through us, nourishing our bodies, strengthening our immune system, and enriching our lives. But when trauma disrupts this flow, it can lead to emotional disconnection, isolation, and even physical illness.
So, how does this happen? The answer lies in our nervous system—the intricate network that governs how we perceive safety, connection, and intimacy.
When Trauma Overwhelms the Nervous System
Our nervous system is like a protective blanket covering our entire body. It responds to threats—real or perceived—by tightening, shutting down, or going into survival mode. When we experience trauma (whether from past wounds, overwhelming stress, or unresolved emotional pain), our nervous system becomes ‘dysregulated‘.
As I explain in my book, Healing Trauma Through Family Constellations and Somatic Experiencing, “Trauma is not just an event that happened in the past; it is the energy that remains stuck in the body, distorting our ability to connect with ourselves and others.”
When the nervous system is overwhelmed:
- We feel unsafe in our own bodies.
- We withdraw from loved ones, avoiding eye contact and touch.
- We struggle to trust or engage in meaningful relationships.
- We may even experience physical symptoms (chronic pain, fatigue, or illness) as the body holds onto traumatic stress.
How to Restore Connection Through the Nervous System
The good news? Healing is possible. Through Somatic Experiencing and the Polyvagal Theory (developed by Dr. Stephen W. Porges), we learn that safety must first be restored in the body before love and connection can flourish again.
3 Steps to Re-Engage in Love & Relationships
- Notice Comfort in the Body
- Trauma makes us hyper-aware of discomfort, but we can retrain the nervous system by focusing on areas that feel calm and safe.
- “When we anchor ourselves in small moments of ease, the body begins to remember that safety is possible.”
- Reconnect Through the Eyes
- The vagus nerve (which regulates our sense of safety) is activated through gentle eye contact.
- If saying “I love you” feels too vulnerable, simply seeing and being seen can rebuild trust.
- Re-Engage Slowly
- Trauma recovery isn’t about forcing connection—it’s about allowing the nervous system to relax at its own pace.
- “Reconciliation doesn’t always need words. Sometimes, it just needs presence.”
Healing Is Possible
If past wounds have left you feeling disconnected from love—whether in marriage, family, or friendships—know that your nervous system can heal. At www.healingtraumawell.com website, we specialize in somatic and ancestral healing methods to help you:
- Release stored trauma from the body.
- Restore emotional and physical intimacy.
- Rebuild relationships with safety and trust.
You don’t have to stay stuck in isolation. If you’re ready to reclaim your love life, book a session today.
“The body remembers what the mind forgets. Healing begins when we listen.”
as i quote it from my book — Healing Trauma Through Family Constellations and Somatic Experiencing
Would you like support in your healing journey? Let’s reconnect you with love. 💛
👉 Visit www.healingtraumawell.com to book a session.
Together, we can bring your nervous system back into balance and your love life back to life.
By; Efu Nyaki, your International Trainer, Educator, Mentor and Author"
"For deeper insights on trauma healing, explore the work of Euphrasia, an internationally recognized trainer in Somatic Experiencing® and Family Constellations. Visit her blog at www.healingtraumawell.com and her book 'Healing Trauma Through Family Constellations and Somatic Experiencing" on Amazon for transformative approaches to nervous system regulation and intergenerational healing."